Friday, December 5, 2008
A CW Twist on Pooh by Mac
Paula's Adventures at Tea Time
As Paula Sanders walked down the busy New York streets, she hummed to herself softly. She was currently on her way down to her friend Ray's house, where they would enjoy a Japanese inspired teatime, which Ray had gushed over saying, and I quote,
“Its just so fetch! All the biggest movie stars, Broadway directors, and producers are doing it!”
Paula giggled as she remembered this, and found herself at Ray's futuristically inspired condo. She pressed the doorbell which resided on the door itself, flashing different colors on its blob-like shaped exterior. Ray came to the door, throwing over-enthusiastic words of greeting at Paula like snowballs, and beckoning her into the bizarre condo. Paula had to turn sideways and suck in her stomach to get in, because the door was actually shaped like a shriveled banana. As she walked around the condo, Paula had to turn and jump over bizarre ledges and alcoves, just to get a viewing of the condo. Finally, when Ray and Paula made it to the Kitchen, they sat down on round curvy lounge chairs, that sank down quite a bit when they sat. Paula stifled a giggle when she saw the ridiculous back on Ray's chair, a mosaic of outrageous colors and smiley faces, as he knelt to retrieve the Tea and Rice cakes.
They soon began to chit-chat about the weather and daily life in New York. Paula found herself eating delicious Rice cake after delicious Rice cake, only stopping when she felt her stomach scream in disgusted protest. “Well, I must be going. I'm having dinner with my parents tonight and I fear I'll spoil my dinner.” Paula said this rather uncomfortably, knowing full well she probably wasn't going to eat anything for the next two weeks.
“You're sure you can't stay a bit longer? Ray smiled hopefully, but Paula said,
“No, I really must be going...” Insisted Paula. Ray nodded in agreement, and led her back out of the ridiculous condo. But as Paula tried to squeeze herself out of the shriveled-banana-shaped doorway, she found herself hopelessly stuck.
“Oh, fudge!” She thought to herself, obviously she had eaten way too many Rice cakes, causing her stomach to expand in discomfort. Paula then tried to go back inside, and wait until she digested. Only to found she couldn't go back inside either! She hopelessly tried to push herself out, then in, then out again, but nothing happened. She wailed for Ray to come back to the door and help her. He tried pushing Paula first through the door, then grabbing her arm and pulling her back inside, but it was no use. Sighing Ray said, “Paula, I think your going to have to stay there until you can squeeze through.”
“What about calling some help?!” Yelped Paula, as the sides of the door bit into her stomach menacingly.
“Haven't gotten a land line installed yet, and my cell phone fell into the bathtub this morning.” Ray mumbled sheepishly.
“OK, how about going out the back door for some help on foot?” Ray shook her head and said,
“I don't have back door either, I wanted there to be a...”
“Ray!” Screamed Paula, rudely cutting him off before he finished.
“OK, OK, just relax! All we need to do is wait until you stomach shrinks back to its normal size, and you'll be able to fit through the door!”
So, for the next three hours Ray read to Paula all the latest fashion trends from Vogue, took five different style quizzes, and watched a movie on Ray's portable DVD player.
“OK, lets try again,” Panted Paula, readying herself for the twenty-ninth attempt at getting out.
“Push!” Screamed Ray, and out popped a sore, bruised and hungry Paula onto the street. She pushed herself up, moaning and grimacing as her muscles yelled at her for being so very rude and impolite to them, and turned to wave a pathetic goodbye to Ray,
“I promise to get a new door for tomorrow's luncheon!” Ray yelled out at her.
Paula grimaced, not looking forward to tomorrow at all, but to make Ray happy, she nodded, and went limping down the street.